…Where everything is going wrong and I am holding back tears and screams that are burning a knot in my throat.
I hate the fact that I’m okay with giving up and ending it all now.
I hate implying that I’m “suicidal” but I just can’t keep being strong when every little fucking thing keeps adding to the breaking point of me.
- Rough draft five design concepts for my product labels.
- Create a marketing plan. FUN! -_-
- Write a five page essay.
- Study for a statistics test.
- Have sex.
- Buy myself something.
- Post some poetry that is sitting in my drafts.
- Slap someone.
- See if the vitamins I’m taking, make a difference in the amount of cum I produce during ejaculation. =p Yeah boy.
- Slap a nun.
- Work out.
Now home to study math, talk with the boyfriend and try to make time for myself before I head back to school tomorrow morning.
- I have my fan blowing on my balls. and butt while i’m on my bed doggy style.
- I lotion my body and pay extra close attention to my penis.
- *Surprise fap session*
- Wash my hands and peen from the sticky mess.
- Clean ears. Ear Orgasm.
- Powder my balls. Shweaty balls are gross.
- Stay naked for another 30 minutes.
- Finally stop being lazy and get dressed.
So my boyfriend texts me when he gets home from work telling me he was going to shower and then call me for our skype date.
While falling asleep writing a poem, I get a knock on my bedroom door and it’s him.
He surprised me and took me out for ice cream. :)
I feel like the luckiest guy in the world.
I missed his kisses and hugs.
So much spam…
So much penis pictures and videos I had received over the years.
That is seven email accounts in total…and set up filters to block out spam from coming to my inbox and going straight to the trash.
I feel like an adult for some reason.
I’m a lame-o.
I need to go to bed.
Today was a pretty great day. Although I was rudely awoken by my mother at seven in the morning for no reason, I managed to overlook it and decided that I was going to allow myself to have one day this week that was stress free.
I haven’t really been posting much online because the last two weeks have been stressful. I have the time to write, I cannot lie and say I don’t, but I really have no energy with all of the things that I need to get done.
Registering for school has become the bane of my existence. I have to get this irs transcript form so that my financial aid packet can be complete but I was just notified last Saturday that I was missing this information and it takes 5-10 business days for the info to be sent. If I don’t get the information on time, my classes will be voided and I would only have until the 7th to add or drop classes before 50 % of my tuition is taken away.
I managed to get my laundry done and spend time with my boyfriend.
I ate wendys, which is my favorite fast food chain and we went to the supermarket so that we could make our own brunch tomorrow since he doesn’t have work. :)
I love cooking with him. It makes me smile and feel all warm inside.
I am really stressed about school but I am also excited at the same time. I miss being away from my house and not dealing with the stresses that come with living here. School is my outlet to escape. I hope I can make new friends.
I am trying to find myself while still keeping true to my virtues and goals that I have set up for myself. It is difficult but I know I can make it.
If you read this all, pat yourself on the back because I wouldn’t have.
I just went through all my messages on here.
(I don’t ever delete any of them) They are mini snapshots of the beautiful and not so beautiful notes I have received on here.
It is kind of weird to see how many of the people I used to be so close with, that I barely talk to anymore.
Some don’t even follow me anymore, some have deactivated and others are just lost in their own part of the blogosphere that is tumblr.
If you are reading this, thank you for sticking by me through every transition that is my life.
I appreciate it more than you can imagine.
My ask is ALWAYS open ANON or NOT.
You can chat me up if you’d like and I’ll be sure to do the same.