August 2012
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If Wishes Grew On Trees
If Wishes Grew On Trees By Jean Roy If wishes grew on trees I’d plant a forest of glittering possibility in my backyard instead of being ignored by the beautiful hydrogen and helium matter that usually shines false hope down into my heart every other night. I take this branch and with a closed fist, I close my eyes and make a wish. Copyright 2012 All Rights Reserved
July 2012
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I am reminded daily how much of my family are...
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Memories Of You Cause Me The Most Pain
Memories Of You Cause Me The Most Pain By Jean Roy I’ve lost my mind to reminisced events of happiness that I have tried to keep tucked away in the box underneath my bed filled with memories, photographs and hand written letters filled with uncompleted promises that I can’t seem to stop from reverberating inside my head. …Memories of you cause me the most pain, but I still manage to miss you at...
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Starving Writer
Starving Writer By Jean Roy A starving writer dying for you to love my words like I love you. Can this late night written expression be considered art? Can this humble man of only words capture your beautiful heart? Copyright 2012 All Rights Reserved
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Boasting Wealth And Loss Of Common Sense
Boasting Wealth And Loss Of Common Sense By Jean Roy He boasted of wealth but its better to have more sense than dollar bills. Copyright 2012 All Rights Reserved
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Thoughts Of You
Thoughts Of You By Jean Roy Thoughts of you echo during times when missing you always breaks my heart. Copyright 2012 All Rights Reserved
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Salty Matter
Salty Matter By Jean Roy These crystalline tears had rippled down my face like chasing raindrops down a well of remembrances. The velvet gold of her words had awoken a lingering pain that the flowing droplets of salty matter had been showcased in a wave of universal abandonment that could be read by the wet stains of my cheeks. Like any man I tried to control this prisoner of love that she made...
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HIV +
HIV + By Jean Roy Stay away from the virus not the person who has to live with it. Copyright 2012 All Rights Reserved
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Daily Confession: July 29th 2012
I hate hating what I see in the mirror every single day. I’ve never wanted something more in my life than to be skinny.
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Seven Sentence Sunday
I. We belonged together like sun filled mornings of august and the aromatic smell of freshly ground vanilla bean heaven.
II.
We both knew it was a bad idea to have our hearts bond over chain smoking and stories involving our broken hearted past, but neither one of us liked being alone and kisses without the promise of forever, felt more right than it did wrong.
III.
Laying so close...
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Cold Hearted
Cold Hearted By Jean Roy I gave in yet again, hoping this time would be different. Several messages left, but still you press ignore whenever I call. I guess this relationship means nothing to you at all. If only you picked up the phone and just heard me out, but you leave me guessing and wondering what this mistreatment is all about. If you could just tell me, why you can’t stand talking to your...
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Daily Confession: July 28th 2012
I feel like no matter what I do with my life and no matter what I accomplish I still won’t ever be happy.
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Long Distance Healing
Long Distance Healing By Jean Roy I asked mom to change our phone plan because I wont be able to ask God to heal her cancer if we do not have long distance. Copyright 2012 All Rights Reserved
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Bookmarked Heart
Bookmarked Heart By Jean Roy Like the seventh chapter of my copy of Gatsby, She left her bookmark on my heart so that I would be forced to flip back to beautiful pages of our story and relive the same pain while still hoping the ending would turn out different. But happily ever after’s are misleading while fairy tales stories were not intended readings by broken hearted adults whose ideas of...
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Thank You
Thank You By Jean Roy Our hearts beat in unison as a way of telling each other “Thank you for loving me.” Copyright 2012 All Rights Reserved
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Six Word Saturday
Flame is gone. Sparks left behind.
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Daily Confession: July 27th 2012
I would be a lot happier if only I was skinny.
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Long Distance Love – Collaboration – Serenityroze...
Long Distance Love – Collaboration – Serenityroze And ThinkMeStrange I wish my mind could agree with this vessel in my chest, but matters of the heart and those of intellect, are far more complex than one might have guessed when the road to long distance relationship success is a heart’s game of Russian roulette. I wish my heart didn’t live on love or that I didn’t believe you were the one because...
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2:42 AM.
Are you wide awake laying in your bed, alone too, Missing me like I’m missing you?
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Sweet Smell Of Summer
The sweet smell of summer in the middle of July, an hour after the moon has replaced the sun, in the daily metamorphosis that is the sunset, is better than any smell I can recall.
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Addicted Dad
Addicted Dad By Jean Roy He just never quits his heroine habit and molesting his son. He enjoys the high. It blocks out the sounds of my cries. Copyright 2012 All Rights Reserved
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The Diary Of A Seventeen Year Old Me
The Diary Of A Seventeen Year Old Me By Jean Roy He tried calling me for my birthday though he was nine days too late. I guess absent minded fathers are all the rage still nine days before, I had nothing much to celebrate. I am now seventeen I thought my life would at least be different but living life on coffee and nicotine shouldn’t be my yearly birthday tradition. Vodka bottles and battles...
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Unspoken Words Of Goodbye
Unspoken Words Of Goodbye By Jean Roy My rusted mouth tastes of molten biled goodbyes and unspoken words. Copyright 2012 All Rights Reserved
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To Watch His Little Girl Graduate
To Watch His Little Girl Graduate By Jean Roy He fought long to survive his battle with nicotine addiction as the cigarettes were slowly taking away his life even though he remained fighting through its opposition. The life expectancy of emphysema patients is only three to five years his life barely able to make it suffering through agonizing pain and tears. My father fought for nine years with...
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Daily Confession: July 24th 2012
His love helps me love myself.
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Some Questions Are Harder Than Others
Some Questions Are Harder Than Others By Jean Roy I haven’t seen you in twelve years because I had asked why you raped me. I am left alone having an absent father who stole my innocence and left me with a question I will never receive the answer to. Copyright 2012 All Rights Reserved
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More Than Just His Friend
More Than Just His Friend By Jean Roy If words were easy to find I’d speak the contents of my fearful heart and complex mind. But courage is not an easy thing to purse when an unstable heart has something great to lose. Self sabotage has become my crutch “I’ll do it soon” but my courage is never enough. I remain fearful that our relationship will end after telling him that I’d like to be more than...
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Life Without You
Life Without You By Jean Roy I try and go on each day pretending that I am okay but my heart can’t fake the truth how badly life is, living it without you. Copyright 2012 All Rights Reserved
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Daily Confession: July 21st 2012
I let my insecurities handicap me.
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To The Heavenly Bodies That Shine So Bright At...
“Have him return back to this four hundred and sixty seven square foot studio apartment he once called home.” J, You left far too much room in my bed for star filled nights to ever become comfortable. I just wish that I could hold your body close to mine. Is that too much to ask?
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Like Forgiveness…
Like Forgiveness… By Jean Roy Much like forgiveness, broken hearts and lost trust take time to fully heal. They say time heals old wounds, but scars will always be there to remind you of the truth. Copyright 2012 All Rights Reserved
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Attachment
Attachment By Jean Roy My attachment to your heart is cloaked by an invisible veil of uncontrollable urges to feel your warm embrace but instead knowing I can only hug a cold pillow instead. Copyright 2012 All Rights Reserved
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Your Temporary Whore
Your Temporary Whore By Jean Roy We continue our four forty four weekly appointments of sinful and carnal lust. For an hour and a half I can pretend to be more than your secretary and act as if this wasn’t just sex, but making love. You pick the same hotel room each time, because you love the consistency. Bed sheets that project a lavender scent act as an aphrodisiac as your hungry lips stain my...
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Six Word Saturday
My fears disappear in your presence.
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Daily Confession: July 20th 2012
I lie to myself pretending that by doing so, I can sharpen my ability to detect when I’m being lied to by others.
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You Never Really Loved Me
You Never Really Loved Me By Jean Roy We spent almost every minute together during the last six months. We swore a love like ours would last forever and that a feeling like this could only come once. It was during the first two weeks that we had spent apart that my beautiful summer vacation was out poured with grief that poisoned my once virgin heart. When I found out I was pregnant and your...
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A Loser Like Me
A Loser Like Me By Jean Roy I should have known that your interest for me would leave. Who could possibly grow to love a loser like me? Copyright 2012 All Rights Reserved
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Six Feet Underground
Six Feet Underground By Jean Roy You once swore you’d never leave me to deal with Dad and Mom alone, but I’ve stopped believing in promises the day I accepted you were never returning home. I try not to resent you because I know it wasn’t your fault. Who knew one drunken driver could cause a fifteen car pileup and kill everyone involved. I don’t know how to make believe that you are...
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Daily Confession: July 19th 2012
The only time my mother “loves” me, doesn’t make fun of me, hit me, or ignore me, is when other people are around and I hate myself for playing along.
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Trapped
Trapped By Jean Roy Lost looking into your eyes, wishing I could locate some form of truth as your beautiful mouth effortlessly spewed out elaborate new lies that you could put to use so you could pull me back in and keep me trapped loving you, a man, who has no idea how to love me back. Copyright 2012 All Rights Reserved
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Love Like Onions
Love Like Onions By Jean Roy Love, just like onions, has the ability to have my eyes flow tears. …But my broken heart cannot be chopped up into a meal, so that you too could taste the bitterness I feel. Copyright 2012 All Rights Reserved
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