October 2011
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We act with our hearts...
…and use our brains to clean up the mess.
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Daily Confession: October 30th 2011
I didn’t think you would be the hot gay douche bag type, but you are. I hope one day I am much more attractive so that I can show you what it’s like to be a decent human being and good looking at the same time.
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Holding On To Past Memories
Holding On To Past Memories By Jean Roy I am reminded by the absence of your touch that leaves my heart blinded by the fact that you are not longer arms length away and how much of a lost cause it is to wish you were here to stay I’ve never realized How many tears fall from my eyes or how much I’ve missed your presence since you’ve went up to heaven So I find myself caught in the essence of how...
14 tags
Promises
Promises By Jean Roy That’s the thing about promises. They can either prove love or break it. …The only thing you are providing me with are empty words that have no action to back them up. Copyright 2011 All Rights Reserved
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That Rainy Night, You Saved My Life
That Rainy Night, You Saved My Life By Jean Roy That rainy night You were driving me home, after our fight The roads were dark Dim lamp posts, trying to see two feet ahead, was hard. You instinctively swerved your car to the right So that deer would strike on your side of the windshield instead of mine That when I knew There was nothing in this world, that could make me stop loving you. You...
13 tags
I Am A Paradox
I Am A Paradox By Jean Roy I am a paradox. I admit this so. I’ve come to realize the sad truth that is my life. I eternally long for companionship and love, yet there’s nothing I enjoy more than isolation. Copyright 2011 All Rights Reserved
15 tags
Spiraling Vortex
Spiraling Vortex By Jean Roy I was caught in the spiraling vortex called your insufficient love. Copyright 2011 All Rights Reserved
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Why I Don't Hate Monday's
Why I Don’t Hate Monday’s By Jean Roy I. I always liked Mondays because I got the chance to see your face after a long weekend without you. I know that most people hate Mondays, but I endured all the hate and bad occurrences of my home life so that I could see you again. II. I take the usual morning route to school, watching the scenery out the transit window pass me by like I’m in...
16 tags
Instead Of Making Love
Instead Of Making Love By Jean Roy Instead of making love we celebrated it. Firework orgasms. Copyright 2011 All Rights Reserved
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Never Appreciated The Things I've Done To Keep You
Never Appreciated The Things I’ve Done To Keep You By Jean Roy I sit here and do a little more each day Hoping something can make you stay Knowing that nothing I plan can change your mind This love is in the past, you’ve already decided to leave it all behind. Why do I continue to wait hoping my phone rings, to the words “it was all a mistake” I’ve done my hair just the way you...
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Like Life, Revenge Can Be A Messy Business...
…And both would be much simpler if only our heads could figure out which way our hearts will eventually go.
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Love Out Loud
Love Out Loud By Jean Roy My heart wants to love you out loud. Please don’t make me have to turn it down. Copyright 2011 All Rights Reserved
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Pretending To Be A Survivor, All The While, I'm...
Pretending To Be A Survivor, All The While, I’m Still The Victim By Jean Roy I am still waiting… I am still waiting for the day When I’ll will feel like the survivor I have been pretending to be. Instead I lay in bed continuing being the victim. I still hold my pillow tight, hoping the boogey man that is you won’t return. I have long forgotten the notion of prayers because not even...
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College Text Books
College Text Books By Jean Roy While buying textbooks for college, I could hear my wallet whimpering. Copyright 2011 All Rights Reserved
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Perish Six Feet Below
Perish Six Feet Below By Jean Roy He took my virginity and stole my heart Used the same hands to love, and abuse me Bruises, cuts and tears, were his signature love marks. His tongue was the serpent that had me believing his lies with invisible chains, I was bound, his servant My perfect love, was just longing pain in disguise My heart, wasn’t the only thing he kept beating my lips and mouth,...
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Relationships
Relationships By Jean Roy She was the type of girl whose smart phone lasted much longer than each of her “relationships.” Blow jobs under the bleachers don’t count. Copyright 2011 All Rights Reserved
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Fourth Of July Kiss (Two Independent Hearts)
Fourth Of July Kiss (Two Independent Hearts) By Jean Roy The sparks had flown like the gaudy lights of fireworks on the fourth of July. Our midnight kiss was more of suggestion, than a declaration of our feelings. Although I wanted you to be mine, I knew that both of our hesitant mouths would fear putting in the effort to finding out if both our independent hearts wanted to unite in this new love...
4 tags
I Find Myself...
Escaping from my house more and more. I am slowly realizing that the verbal and physical abuse that I endure on a daily basis is not my fault and is not deserved. I find different places to escape to and have done quite a bit of waking lately. Today, my latest destination is the local McDonald’s.
8 tags
No Power Snow Storm
I had no power today from around 1:50 pm until 15 minutes ago because of the October snow here in New Jersey. Because my heat is run on electric, I have been freezing under a massive ball of blankets trying to get warm.
Reasoning for my lack of posts this week: I’ve had midterms this whole past week. I’ve been studying my ass off to pass them. I have gotten my grades back for my...
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First Snow Fall Here In Jersey.
I’m under my covers reading. :) I’d give anything for some white hot chocolate :)
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I Passed My Math Midterm
I am tripping balls yo! You have no idea how happy I am.
:)
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I still have one of those race car beds...
Want to climb in and go for a ride?
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Fight In My House
Mother: Go do your fucking homework.
Brother: I am
Mother: Get the fuck off the phone.
-10 minutes Later-
Mother: Give me your fucking phone now.
Brother: What the fuck, oh my God.
Mother: You are about to meet God in a minute.
Brother: Just kill me then.
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Daily Confession: October 25th 2011
During my nap today, I dreamed that you finally asked me out and we had an amazing relationship. But then I woke up, my hands still in search of yours, I realized that it will never happen.
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You promised me the stars, but left me alone on...
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No One Cares
No One Cares By Jean Roy What is the point of this bleeding, when no one cares to notice the scars? Copyright 2011 All Rights Reserved
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They say when you decide to face your fears,the...
You can discover the true depth of a relationship. Or what you’re capable of withstanding. The problem is, the more you gain, the more you stand to lose.
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Winter Makes Me Think Of You
Winter Makes Me Think Of You By Jean Roy Winter left me wondering with world wind memories and uninvited coldness that both the weather and thoughts of you bring. The chill in my bones leaves an emptiness that cannot be filled with warm hot chocolate promises and a love that only lasts in season. This frigid wall that blockades the feelings that can corrupt my already fragile heart, is a constant...
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Tired Of These Games
Tired Of These Games By Jean Roy I’m tired of these games. Just tell me straight out if you don’t feel the same way. Copyright 2011 All Rights Reserved
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They say freedom comes at a price...
You better watch out,I think you’re going to be the one stuck with the bill.
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This Dream Of Yours
This Dream Of Yours By Jean Roy Something tells me that this dream of yours is slowly becoming nothing but a nightmare. Copyright 2011 All Rights Reserved
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First Cut
First Cut By Jean Roy They say the first cut is always the deepest. These wrists, can’t stop bleeding. Copyright 2011 All Rights Reserved
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They say blood is thicker than water...
…But it’s also a lot harder to clean up when it spills.
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Crabs
Crabs By Jean Roy He had took her out for lobster and she ended up giving him crabs. Copyright 2011 All Rights Reserved
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TMI Tuesday - Oh Today, End Already.
I had a 10:00 AM. Midterm for English. I had no idea what to write during the essay portion. I walked around school waiting for my best friend who ended up not being able to make it. I was kind of sad about it but got over it, there is always next time. I eventually take the long way home. I like walking on the borderline of Newark and Belleville to my house. It gives me a chance to walk and...
3 tags
Going To Read A Book And Go Night Night. :)
I love you sexy person reading this. I hope you have a wonderful night/morning/afternoon, wherever you are in the world.
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I Love U
Me: I love u
Him: Omg, Really Babe?!?!
Me: Yep, its my favorite vowel.
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Every second of everyday that I don’t see you, you...
I hate that you have this fucked up hold on me.
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Daily Confession: October 24th 2011
I write you small notes everyday in the blank pages between class work and homework in my notebook to let you know I’m alright and that I miss you.
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Back To Being Strangers
Back To Being Strangers By Jean Roy We went from telling each other every thing to acting like we know nothing about each other. We’re back to being strangers. Copyright 2011 All Rights Reserved
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Bad At Pretending
Bad At Pretending By Jean Roy You are the best work of fiction. That smile isn’t fooling anyone. Copyright 2011 All Rights Reserved
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In literature, there are thousands of endings....
This lonely boy refuses to be lonely anymore. I’m rewriting this chapter, you no longer have control over my life and its story.
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These Lies, They Fuck Me Up In The Head
These Lies, They Fuck Me Up In The Head By Jean Roy The truth can hurt once. Your lies hurt every time I’m reminded of them. Copyright 2011 All Rights Reserved
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Starting A New Chapter
Some stories open the door for something more. And then there are fairytale endings where the girl gets her prince. And endings that turn you introspective about your own life and your place in the world. And then there’s the ending that you saw coming a mile away, and yet somehow still takes you by surprise. But don’t worry,This story isn’t ending. We’re just at the start...
7 tags
I Know I'm Not Hot
…but loss of 15 followers after the post with my face. LOL. Sorry, I’m not a hot, shirtless, lady gaga-nicki minaj obsessed type of gay. I’m okay with that though. Maybe not the hot part, I’d like to be hott, but you can keep your judgements of me. I don’t think I’m that damn fugly.
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The "Preferred" Brand
The “Preferred” Brand By Jean Roy She wears a lot of Adobe Photoshop in her profile pictures. …too bad her free trial is almost up. Copyright 2011 All Rights Reserved
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My Mom Purchased Some NyQuil.
I should not be shaking this much in excitement. I have a problem but tonight will be a lovely night to sleep.
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You Have No Idea...
The constant battle and need within myself to be beautiful and thin. It outweighs my desire to feel beautiful and accepted no matter what my appearance or weight may be.
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Lust Over My Virgin Heart
Lust Over My Virgin Heart By Jean Roy Your eyes full of hunger feasted themselves on my mouth watering virgin heart, that you so aggressively want to rip to shreds, for your carnal lusts. You sought the molten embers of purity that I naively have on display. My heart gleams on my sleeve, causing you to remain uneasy. The unending glow of my breath caused the admiration for my little girl charm to...
